As a driven woman that has always been focused on results, it has been difficult for me to open up to receive the pleasures of life. For many years, I associated pleasure with something that was outside of my experience. Pleasure and celebration were bi-products of meeting a particular goal, accolade, or award. The path to experience that pleasure was to grind and achieve, to give and to perform. Then there would be pleasure, and I would only be available to receive it after I had met the goal. 

This year I’ve learned the power of pleasure and the importance of it on our journey to our goals. We can sometimes think we can do it all on our own and we don’t need anything from anyone. 

I now understand that wholeness comes from the belief that the yin and yang, the giving and the receiving are both important. As women we are meant to receive, it is our birthright. And we have the ability to receive more than just accolades for what we are doing and achieving.  To fully express our femininity we have to be willing to receive from our headspace and our heart space. We have to be open to receiving love, pleasure and intimacy. 

I felt a huge shift when I decided to open my heart to pleasure. It started with small things. Being able to enjoy a piece of chocolate. Experiencing the pleasure of sitting and listening to what my body needed. Giving myself space to explore what is present right now, instead of being constantly driven by the need to perform in the masculine achieving mind. 

Being available to receive is as important as generously giving. If we are always giving and unable to receive, then there is an imbalance that causes suffering, stress, or overwhelm.

This realization is game-changing and it doesn’t mean just opening up to receiving from another but opening up to receiving from ourselves and the universe. Many women block their ability to receive because they think they aren’t worthy or they put limitations on what they can receive. How much do we cut ourselves off from the joy of giving because we are not able to believe that we deserve good things and good experiences in our lives? 

Take yourself out and experience the pleasure of your own company.  Buy yourself flowers and enjoy their beauty and smell and the energy they bring to your space.  Dance around your house to sexy music and feel the pleasure of being in your own body. 

When you start to open up to being able to receive from yourself, you also start to open to being able to receive in general. You believe that you are worthy of receiving. You open yourself up to feel that love and acceptance and pleasure. And as you open to it, you will vibrate at a whole different frequency and attract into your life exactly what you are destined to receive. How can you be open to receiving more in the New Year?

*This article was published in The Toronto Caribbean Newspaper