As 2021 comes to an end, we are approaching the season of New Years Resolutions – that time of the year where we commit to all of our big goals and tell ourselves that this will be the year! The year where we will finally fit into the outfit. The year when we are finally going to hit our big financial goal. The year when we will finally meet the man of our dreams. The year when we will walk as a calm, centered mature adult who is intuitively plugged into her higher self.
HA! As if!
We can’t just sketch out the perfect image of ourselves and expect through some affirmations and goal setting it will magically happen. No, my friends, this is almost never the case. And yet we love to put lots of pressure on ourselves to meet these new goals.
Here are a few tips to help you on your journey:
1) It Starts with Acceptance of ALL of You
Accepting all of who we are on the journey to our best selves is not easy. We often think that the way forward is to push and push, ignoring the realities of our lives that are right in front of us. Sometimes the darkness can scare us. I realized that I want to love, forgive and accept everyone else but I couldn’t do those things for myself. I had unrealistic expectations of myself. I wasn’t able to have a dark side, I wanted to try and fix everything and lead by example.
It is just not possible to be perfect and to constantly be fixing yourself. It is just so exhausting. So I decided on the way to my best self, I would love all of myself. I will hold space for the darkness, the tears, the uncertainty, and everything else that desires to be hidden away. I have come to realize that only by allowing my light to illuminate my darkness, will I be a true reflection of my best self. There must be love and acceptance now.
2) Be Open to Receiving
During the holidays we are often in a state of giving to those around us. But often when we are so focused on giving, we forget that we must also be open to receiving. How much are we cutting ourselves off from connection because we can’t accept help, love, or acceptance? Many of us know what it is like to give generously and yet how many of us are equally able to receive graciously and allow others the gift of taking care of us?
It is possible that we need to be open to receiving help, love, and acceptance from others. But equally as important, is your ability to receive Love from yourself. I had never realized that I was blocking people from giving to me. My desire to take care of others meant I always tried to do for them. Open yourself to receiving and that balance will keep the cycle of life flowing around you and the perfect balance of giving and receiving keeps your cup full.
Once you are full, loved, forgiven, and worthy for yourself you will show up differently and this is where your goals will start getting checked off. The small wins you have every day will carry you through the rough patches to your goals. Small shifts will start happening daily and by the time New Year comes you will be well on your way to achieving your goals.
3) Start today.
Lastly, why wait until Jan 1? Start today and start each day by focusing on the areas where things are going well. This can give you momentum to keep going in the right direction. Each day is a fresh start if we take it.
*This article was originally published in The Toronto Caribbean Newspaper.